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Daughtry :: "It's Not Over"From Daughtry (RCA; 2007)
If American Idol was about anything it was about taking talented singers and cramming them into the tiniest most boring classifications into which they could possibly fit. Every conceivable limitation is imposed on these performers until they are hemmed in on all sides, singing the same song every week with only the lighting and the guest mentor to differentiate them. They know exactly what people expect of them down to each individual note. This dude is the first one from the competition that gets the chance to name an entire band and what does he call it? Doesn’t this get fucking insufferable?
Well, America, it’s almost over. If you were a fan shed a furtive tear. If you were stalwart in your belief that an entity so vacuous could never be of value no matter how universal its cultural impact became then raise a whispered cheer because the American Idol machine is grinding resolutely to a halt. The death rattle came from the lips of its figurehead Simon Cowell as he knelt at the feet of his pony-hawked (I can’t believe I just fucking typed that) conqueror: “It doesn’t matter what I say at this point.”
And he was right. It doesn’t matter what Cowell or anyone says now, the invisible hand has voted with an invisible middle finger. Everyone from votefortheworst.com to Howard Stern is conspiring like the industrious denizens of Lilliput to bring down the colossus. If they are successful in hoisting Sanjaya Malakar onto the hallowed pedestal of the Idol their victory will be devastating and complete, and that little cheese ball will have answered the question that dogs the steps of all such phenomena: How will it end?
So shall we sigh of depression or relief? What legacy has AI left us? The answer is provided in part by the new song from Daughtry, “It’s Not Over.” I had hoped against hope that Chris Daughtry would take his prepackaged platform and use it for something other than streamlined, nondescript, semi-coherent post-grunge musings. I mean, don’t these people place any importance on confounding expectations? This goal has never been more achievable in the history of music.
Chris Daughtry says no, Taylor Hicks said no before him and Carrie Underwood answered similarly before them both. The lineage of American Idol, as far back as you’d like to trace it, is a story of successful cardboard cut-outs; only Kelly Clarkson has managed to generate a single degree of heat and that’s not enough to get worked up over. So fuck it. Take it down, Sanjaya. Make the mockery of this glorified talent show that only your goofy ass could.
“It’s not oooooooverrrrrr!!” You can push that gravelly mantra out your abdomen at me all you want, Chris, but wishin’ doesn’t make it so. You, like all the others, had a chance to do something good (or even interestingly bad) with your 15 minutes and you took the money instead. It’s over.
Eric Sams :: 16 April 2007 |
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