(03/16/2010) /

Blog / Elsewhere Daily Ops Home

This Just In: Liam Gallagher is a Tool

As the human race—once poised in breathless anticipation as to the fate of storied band/cloaca Oasis and now sure of its demise, kinda—finally begins to live with the anus-shaped hole in its hearts, Liam Gallagher reminds us of one place where we can constructively direct our sadness and overwhelming sense of loss:

“The bees are vanishing. We’ve got to save them before they all buzz off. It’s important. It’s a really worthwhile cause. Without them we’re in proper bother. If it weren’t for honey, I’d have a rough voice.”

Apparently, honeybee populations in the UK are depleting rapidly, sparking up a movement behind which Liam has recently positioned himself after what has obviously been some major soul-searching. Witness how calmly and civilly he expresses his dislike:

“I’m much more worried about my voice. For years I never warmed up before a concert. I’d just stand around smoking and stuff…But people spend lots of money to see us and I respect that. I don’t want to go on stage sounding like an idiot. Now I drink herbal drinks and shit. And honey. I fucking hate it though.”

It makes sense that Liam would drink shit and that he would fucking hate it, but even with honey, I can only imagine what shit tastes like—other than shit. No wonder he’s become such a proponent for bee survival. After all, if honeybees weren’t dying, Liam Gallagher would be able to tolerate drinking more shit, he’d be less worried about his voice, he’d feel better about his performances, and then Oasis would probably still be together.

Question, though: does drinking shit really prevent one from sounding like an idiot?

Thanks to music-news.com

Dom Sinacola | 10/12/2009 |                

⊙ See all Blog posts, or just Elsewhere Blog posts, or head back to the Daily Ops index.
⊙ Keyword Tags: Anus-shaped Holes In Our Hearts, Bees, Liam Gallagher, Oasis, Tools

All content © CMG 2003-2010 | powered by Textpattern | hosted by (mt) Media Temple