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Why I Am Better Than Bono
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10. I can say “three thirty” without getting laughed at.
9. I could fit into my PVC trousers.
8. I stopped wearing my PVC trousers at the age of 18.
7. I do not look like Mrs. Doubtfire.
6. I actually like my black friends as opposed to just having my photo taken with them.
5. I don’t wear cuban heels when standing next to friends over 6ft.
4. Being gay makes me more of a failed Catholic than being rich and Irish. Ergo, I pwn Bono’s Catholic guilt.
3. I hated Pop (1997) a full 6 years before he did.
2. I never wrote, directed, or funded The Million Dollar Hotel.
1. I am aware that I am singularly incapable of ending World Poverty.
