There’s a (wholly private) school of thought that I should love Islands. Part of me just wanted to blindly lay an egg, and wait for my opinion on “Rough Gem” to miraculously hatch onto paper, preferably in Verdana Size 14, but, as with most things, I think I was expecting a bit too much from my yoke.

You see, I can’t make up my mind on this matter. I’ve written two reviews --- three, actually, if you’re considering this --- and they’re coincidentally, diametrically opposed.

Alan #1 was all about "driving warm synth lines buzzing melodiously," amid some other metaphorically-challenged meanderings involving bees and The Cure’s Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me. And all credit to him, the song’s about as warm as a John Hughes movie, but just as sickeningly sweet, Alan #2 drolly chipping in with, "The Unicorns had bite. Even at their most lackadaisical, they were tripping wires, not daisies. The guitar lines were serrated, not..."

"Shut it sleepyhead, and you, yeah, you -- stop being so damn snarky. This is good, solid indie rock, and sure it’s lush, quite ironic considering the title actually, but that’s off the point. Taken as a song, it’s vivacious, valedictory stuff."

"No, Alan #1, this is nothing more than orchestrated opium for the maladjusted, strings attached."

And I think I’ll close the internal discussion there because it just goes on like that. I’m (finally) veering towards Alan #2 (the negative one), but, on the other hand, this is completely ridiculous. I am Alan #1 and Alan #2 – the corpus callosum does exist, but I’m split. When the time’s right, this song swings in with all the jousting euphoria of the post-breakdown of “Stars and Sons” in a bath of Sunny Delight. And then there’s times where I just miss the Unicorns. I didn’t intend this to be so confusing, least of all for myself.

I guess if I were to quantify how much I enjoy hearing “Rough Gem,” I’d say, possibly, 2/3s as much as the final quarter of Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? How's that for clearing things up?

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