In loving memory of Purpology

This is one of my top ten singles of 2006 so far. CMG Connor asserts that it’s strictly a video hit, that Kelis never really shows up if you take the song by itself. He might be right; I first experienced “Bossy” when I saw the video, and every time I hear it I can’t untangle it from my recall of what goes on in that Marc Klasfeld number, can’t help but picture every little wag of the begging dog wobble and breast-brush moves that Kelis brings out at the video’s beginning in order to enrapture every straight male ever. She does this in a swimsuit and fly shades and a new haircut, one that she bloggedly calls “a tribute to Salt ‘n Pepa but 2010ish” when it’s really just the look of someone hot pulling off the Missy ‘do.

The scene takes shape with K waking up in her canopied bed on some Venetian lawn; she goes to the mirror and takes a few mincing snips at her fray of curls. A plucky synth becomes a compressed waltz… and then the 808 drums clap in, dividing the key line into alto plinks and basso (the original line soon to rejoin the music’s tenor-range), Kelis sends a bratty yelp of “I’m a boss!” into the camera, all of this happening at once, and we realize a split second later that the place, time and heroine have changed. We’re beside a channel and there’s the haircut and the “dancing”; it’s definitely a moment. Kelis’ indolent jiggy visually reps the slick friskiness that she brings to her vocal performance, the way she jump-starts the beat followed by her sultry echoing of “get down on the flo” with an inversion and sidelong glance, the track’s high-cooed harmonizing that starts on “Ooh, from the 6-4 heffas up in Crenshaw / The money-makin’ playas up in Harlem,” and plenty of etcetera making me ask Morris what he’s on about when he’s all “she does nothing with it.”

“Bossy” might be the most normalized video in a striking and eclectic Kelis repertoire that includes “Caught Out There,” a Hype Williams epic of 2:35:1 proportions, and the black Bjork of “Get Along With You,” but it’s the details and locales and vibe that work overtime here. By shooting a lot of off-angles in a reserved color scheme (dull blues, greens and earth tones, splashes of red throughout), Klasfeld smartly keeps us removed from and envious of what we’re seeing; when he takes us down to the Ritz bar, it’s with half an iris. Kelis’ court is littered with a massive model entourage who don’t sport excessive bling but instead impress upon the viewer a very chic air of affluence, urban Ivy League style. Too $hort only manages one good couplet (the last one), his flow as gray as he looks, and maybe the track’s value doesn’t go far beyond pop interest and slack-dance appeal. But there are those pauses in the song where Kel murmurs, “Diamonds on my neck / Di-diamonds on my grill,” and Klasfeld throws a couple more chips in the ante by letting close-ups drift over her ice, the necklace reading “Mrs. Jones” and reminding us that this wonderland’s queen is married to none other than Nas. At least in its video form, “Bossy” is a peephole looking in on an alluring upper-class world, one that’s just way too sexy and too damn cool.

That white waiter yelling along is us, boys.

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